Intel has excitedly announced the launch of a game called IT Manager III: Unseen Forces, which charges the player with working through the IT ranks of a large organisations. Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony, it ain't.

You start the game as an IT manager, perform a number of tasks and move up through the ranks Sims style. We had a quick look at it, for research purposes boss, and it was fun, for about five minutes.

In fact, the game does have a fairly good sense of humour - it would have to given its very existence - and players are greeted with requests like "What's wrong with my work telly?". Something that might strike more than a note of familiarity with IT managers everywhere.

Once you have proved yourself amongst the ranks you become CIO and start making other people crawl around under desks. We didn't want to play for that long, but fingers crossed that you don't have to fight an end of level boss called Outsourcero or The Mumbai-stard, or something.

"IT Manager III: Unseen Forces is a great way for IT managers to have fun when they have a spare moment," says Ketevan Rogava, European internet marketing manager at Intel. "It gives players with big ambitions the ability to take control of their own company and make sure their office runs like clockwork."

Clockwork?! If they had the choice we think most firms would stick to running in a slightly more technologically advanced manner.

November 26, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Get a tight grip on your doughnut because you are about to be shocked. IT workers are some of the fattest and unfittest people in the country according to a new survey seemingly designed to make you feel even worse about your job than you already do.

Yes there is a recession, and yes jobs are being shaved, workloads are shooting up and you are being asked to do more with less, but don't you realise that you are neglecting one of the most important things in your life? No, not the Tamgotchi or the novelty venus flytrap. Your health, you sugar and larded up fools!

The survey, which comes from scale botherers the Fat Free Fitness Weightloss Agency, found that amongst the 1700 people that managed to shift their ample bulk in the direction of researchers, a large (geddit?) proportion of them were IT workers, and more alarming than the fact that these under-desk scurriers actually have time to fill in surveys, is the fact that less than 20 per cent of them eat their recommended five-a-day.

Ignoring this medical mumbo jumbo - eating five apples doesn't count apparently and plays havoc with the colon - is done so at workers' peril. Fat Free Fitness recommends that you do something about it, such as eating the occasional sprout and getting half an hour's exercise five times a week, and we don't mean jogging to McDonalds so that you don't miss the early-bird  Egg McMuffins either.

And there was us thinking that you looked so pale, sallow, and unhealthy because of all the time you spend in the server room. With surveys like these you unlearn something every day.

November 17, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Shock news: The President of the United States of America actually has more important things to do than update his Twitter profile all day.

The news is rather surprising since the Prez has a rather active Twitter account, and actually one of this last posts reads, "In Singapore, continuing the visit to Asia." Strange then that while on this Asian trip Obama took time out to tell a group of Chinese students that he doesn't use Twitter now, and never has.

Twitter apparently has attained legendary status amongst Chinese students in much the same way that Bruce Springteen records and blue jeans used to have amongst Russian ones, so one of them took the opportunity to ask Obama whether he thought it was fair and right that they could not use it behind the Chinese firewall.

"I have never used Twitter but I'm an advocate of technology and not restricting internet access," he replied. Plainly so, as he obviously doesn't have a problem surrending his login details to his lackies.

Obama's account has some 2.7m followers and is one of those fancy 'verified' accounts. Regular readers will either be disappointed, or relieved that he has decided he has better things to do than tell people every time he goes to the toilet.

Perhaps the leader of the free world is trying to cosy up to Tory leader David Cameron in refusing to be associated too closely with the micro-blogging tool - a popular haunt for self-obsessed morons. Cameron famously told breakfast radio listeners a couple of months ago that politicians who use Twitter risk making "a twat" out of themselves.

November 16, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Google has added a new feature designed to help parents and teachers ensure that younglings are not looking at inappropriate material when using its search pages. However, Sneak thinks that the tool may also find favour in those workplaces where shoulder surfing is the best defence against desk-bound rudity.

Google has long offered a safe search feature, and workers have long turned it off, but from now on anyone who walks past a desk and sees a number of big balls at the top of the screen will know that the person is 'safe searching', as opposed to the opposite. So yeah, they weren't the balls you were thinking about.

"While no filter is 100 per cent accurate, SafeSearch helps you avoid content you may prefer not to see or would rather your children did not stumble across. We think it works pretty well, but we're always looking for ways to improve the feature", said Pete Lidwell, product manager at the firm. Should you not see the balls, you will be in a position to throw all sorts of accusations at the person involved. A past-time that Sneak particularly enjoys.

Of course, it is not an enterprise-specific tool, and obviously it isn't going to solve any ongoing workplace tom-foolery, but it might help in its own little way.

November 11, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak thinks that Stephen Fry can't ever have read the reviews for Jeeves and Wooster, his ITV update of the Wodehouse classics. Because if he had he would certainly have a thicker skin that it currently appears.

This week Sir Fry of Twittingdon was upset by one of his 900,000 devoted followers, who had the audacity to label one of his tweets 'boring'.  Fry responded, "Think I may have to give up on Twitter. Too much aggression and unkindness around. Pity. Well, it's been fun."

He's since said that the post was down to other issues, Fry is known to suffer from bipolar disorder, and admitted to feeling sheepish about the whole incident.

Sneak is saddened by the news and seeks to give Fry just this simple message. Feeling sheep only makes you feel better in the short term.

November 2, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)