BT, which was today cleared of both scaring children, and calling them potentially offensive names, has added a new layer of gittishness to its charmless Kris Marshall starring adverts.

The ads continue the story of Adam and Jane, the apparently loving couple that spend their time discovering new features in their BT internet services and discussing them with total strangers. This seems like a fairly good basis for an unfulfilling relationship, but it has always appeared to work for them.

Now, however, things are not so rosy for the pair.

Adam, it appears, has left the family home and is chasing his dream career. Not all is going well for him, however, as he has also spurned one other family member, the BT connection.

During a particular pointless IM discussion about whether the pair should still be together Adam's wireless connection falls down, meaning that his partner is left wondering what's going on, and whether she ought to take garden shears to his wardrobe, or his private parts.

Sneak is unimpressed by the whole idea. Especially as he uses a BT Homehub at his own home and finds it as unreliable as his own time-keeping.