Little known fact for you all to mull over. Sneak has spent approximately 58 per cent of his working week this last fortnight attending IT conferences. Not that it doesn't come with some compensations – Sneak has spent many a happy hour on trade show floors observing the spandex clad beauties IT vendor X has hired for the day in the vain hope of attracting some sexually excitable potential customer to its stand.

But one of the common complaints Sneak has about these events, beyond the depressing sandwiches and the lack of a ready supply of tasers to get through the bovine crowd, is the press centre facilities. Um, Internet World, for example – judging from the title, you would expect a little internet access perhaps? Wrong. Expect no WiFi, no fixed broadband, and just a single 3G dongle which wouldn't work on Sneak's laptop. Nice biscuits though...