Sneak likes to think himself as a fairly forgiving soul, but, well, the government has a habit of making him slightly irritable. Take the Byron Review on internet safety which was published recently. Wide ranging proposals include the obligation for search engines to display safe search settings on their home page, a voluntary code of conduct forcing UGC sites to take down inappropriate content, and compulsory kitemarked parental control software to be pre-installed on machines.

And it seems the government is to fully back these recommendations. Not that there's anything wrong with them, or the fact that they were compiled by a psychologist with a CV including appearances on classic TV shows such as Little Angels and The House of Tiny Tearaways. No, what is a bit more amazing is the government's complete non-endorsement of the recent House of Lords Science and Technology Select Commmittee report on personal internet security. Its proposals included a data breach notification law, legal liability to be placed on manufacturers for security flaws in their products, and a kitemark to be awarded to ISPs which provide superior security services. Perhaps the Lords missed a trick. Had they hired Ant and Dec to present their findings, maybe the government would have taken them more seriosuly.

March 30, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Picture the scene; you’ve finally got through security at the airport, having had the entire contents of your bag deposited unceromoniously on the floor by an over zealous customs officer. You’ve just made the flight, having been unable to find the entrance to Heathrow T5, and having been trapped in a faulty lift with a large family from Texas for the best part of an hour. And in a tragically ironic twist of fate you’ve just sat down in your cattle class seat, wedged between said family.

But things are looking up, you’ve just opened the first of several complementary luke warm beers, the non-descript pretzel type snacks are going down surprisingly easily and even the in-flight movie doesn’t look half bad. And then all hell breaks loose. Yes, thanks to comms regulator Ofcom, British airlines will be able to install systems allowing passengers to make phone calls and send texts from their mobiles during flights. Forget business productivity, what about the general sanity of everyone on the plane? It’s unclear yet how much the service is likely to cost, but one thing is sure; at some point, you will be sat next to a passenger for whom money is no object.

March 29, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Apparently a group of children's charities have taken up the mantle of disgruntled job seekers everywhere. They're urging the government to make it illegal for employers to vet prospective employees by trawling social networking sites.

The charities, including the NSPCC, and the NCH, say that young people should be forgiven for posting inappropriate and potentially character-destroying content, and could call on our dear leaders to tighten up data protection laws. This would effectively mean firms would have to get permission from prospective employees before they search the online networks. Which is all fine an dandy, but Sneak has an even better, simpler and more effective solution, consisting of two words; limited profile! Come on kids, this wouldn’t even be an issue if you sorted out your privacy settings.

March 25, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Being a bit of a petrol head with more than a mild fondness for the pleasures of the grain and grape, Sneak took last month’s Budget pretty badly. So he was delighted to hear about a new internet campaign to get Alistair Darling banned from every pub in the UK following the Chancellor’s 4p per pint tax increase.

Started by an Edinburgh-based blogger who goes by the name of Reactionary Snob, the campaign has so far attracted support from dozens of pubs across the country. Anti-Darling feeling appears to be particularly strong in East Sussex brewery town Lewes, where the Chancellor can expect a less than friendly welcome from at least three publicans. And while the Snob may be fairly old-fashioned in some of his views, he’s still pretty web-savvy, having set up a Facebook site that has attracted nearly 200 members already.

There is even talk of enlisting TV funny-man Al Murray, The Pub Landlord to act as chief spokesman for campaign. Now Sneak isn’t usually one for curbing individual freedom, but on this occasion he is more than happy to make an exception. So come on, IT Week readers, spread the word and let’s get that dreary denizen of No 11 barred from every local in the land.

March 25, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Around half of the country’s broadband customers aren’t happy with their service, according to new research from, naturally, price comparison firm uSwitch. Just once wouldn’t it be nice to have a completely independent survey? No vested interests etc? No, probably too much to ask, Sneak reckons.

Anyway, the survey found that four out of nine broadband providers have less satisfied customers now than a year ago. Shame on them, but this may not surprise many of you, especially if you are frequently to be found shouting at the laptop whilst waiting for a bit of buffering on your favourite internet TV show. Or maybe tearing the last remaining strands from your noggin as that simple page refresh leaves your screen frozen in arctic no-man’s land for several seconds.

March 24, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

It has come to Sneak’s attention that there are some people working in the industry who might be better off thinking about another career. As is the case with a certain Mr Malcolm Ware, who according to that stalker’s Bible, LinkedIn, works for a firm called Software-Leads.com, and serves as northern Europe director at Smartops Corp. The unfortunately titled Mr Ware also seems to have worked for Manugistics, after senior managerial stints at Novell and Silicon Graphics.

Sneak would not want to comment on the potential dangers in letting Mal Ware inside your corporation, but it goes without saying that IT managers should be vigilant at all times.

March 21, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

We in the IT industry can often be accused of navel gazing. Of getting so wound up with our own self-importance that we fail to see the bigger picture. IT security is probably no exception; shock horror headlines as each sober prophecy of impending doom from the vendors is released to the press.

But, you know, Sneak reckons it pays to get things in a bit of perspective. At least we have our health, after all. Or do we? According to the Medical Device Security Center, hackers may soon be targeting medical devices such as internal defibrillators and neurotransmitters. Ouch.

March 14, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak has been in this game for a little while now, but the power of boffins to reduce his brain to a quivering mush of jelly seems to be undiminished. At a recent event hosted by IBM to celebrate and discuss the future of web science, Sneak felt distinctly uneasy. Now Sneak fully understands that the web is a marvelous and complex beast and that some form of academic rigour crossing technological and sociological boundaries needs to be invented to study its many facets.

But when Berners-Lee gets going in a room full of web scientists and engineers, there's only one way it's going – straight over Sneak's head. Micro this, macro that and quantum the other – sorry guys, you're doing a grand job but Sneak reckons he'll just wait until these ideas are distilled into a media-friendly sound bite … like Web 3.0. Hurrah.

March 14, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Despite, or perhaps true to his image, Sneak doesn't actually think much of technology.

His mobile phone is a perennial pain, his email is totally unmanageable, and not a single person has ever been able to complete the transfer of six gabillion dollars into his bank account – despite numerous attempts.

His robotic dog has a tendency to pee oil on the carpet, and manages to produce a steaming pile of nuts and bolts at least eighteen times a week, and in a variety of embarrassing environments.

He has been vetted in so many chatrooms that people no longer even believe that he is a 30/40 something, fat, balding, boring man, nevermind a Jason Donovan look-a-like.

An RFID chip placed in the shoe of his nemesis only warns Sneak of the foe's imminent arrival once he has been, kicked, and gone again.

The cameras and security key cards at his local swimming bath changing rooms have put pay to a lot of his erm, nature photography, while advances in optometry mean that his disguise, think Tootsie on a low-budget, no longer works when the local Women's Institute holds one of its marital aids parties.

The result of all this is that Sneak is fairly bored of interacting with women in a mature and grown up manner.

Thanks heavens then for the British boffins that have apparently developed a camera that lets the user see underclothes. Oh wait. It says that it lets people see under clothes, not underclothes.

Ah. That’s not the same thing at all is it. Bah.

March 10, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yes folks, those crazy cats from Japan are at it again. The home of the robotic toilet, Takeshi's Castle and, um, the Japanese, is now proud to announce revolutionary new technology that could have us all blinking like idiots. Apparently the school of enginnering science at Osaka university is responsible for this new system, which is able to detect via infra red sensors the movement our temples make when we blink or wink. The idea is to build said technology into glasses perhaps, so that with a simple wink of the eye, you could turn the telly on.

It's likely to be seen in commercial products in a couple of years time, according to reports, but sadly no plans to use it in an enterprise IT context. Sneak reckons it's just as well too; your staff would probably go blind if they had to operate enterprise software throught the medium of winking.

March 8, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak has a soft spot for birds of all types. Crows however, have a pretty bad rep in his house, not least of all because of the terrible way they act in that film about the elephant with big ears, and lofty ambitions. Is it Dumbo?

Who knows? Not Sneak anyway. This week IT Week's resident scorn-pourer was alarmed to see that crows have invaded the government, and not just that, they have got their beaks stuck well and truly into law enforcement…

Whatever next? Ostriches running the church? Mad old birds in Buckingham Palace? A load of tits working for the tax man?

What's that you say? It was a spelling mistake?

Oh... shame.

March 6, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sneak used to work in an IT department at one of those firms where to encourage good work staff are forced to perform squat thrusts and other cardio-related activities at break time. These days, well, every day after that one awful morning of employment, he is a stranger to the gym, well not a stranger, more a mortal enemy.

That's not to say that he has never been inside one, in fact he has, and ever the gadget buyer he has all the kit but very little of the impetus required for a successful session.

One of the items in his gym arsenal is the Nike+ iPod kit, a little gizmo that sits in his shoe and yells at his MP3 player, which in turn yells in his ear. This yelling is supposed to be helpful, even inspiring, but with Sneak only really serves to annoy.

So, it is with some alarm that Sneak hears that Nike and Apple are making the iPod work direct with gym equipment, letting users plug their Nano into the hellish torture machines on display and track workouts, programme in their 'goals' and collate all of the relevant information to use later when gloating over fat people.

The day that Nike makes trainers that drag the wearer to the gym is the day that Sneak will worry, until then he will stick to listening to his Celine Dion albums on his iPod, from the comfort of his sofa.

March 5, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Government data breaches have been pretty high on the IT radar in recent weeks, so much so that the DLP and encryption firms must be rubbing their hands with glee, Sneak reckons. Well, you would have thought so. But in a classic display of know-it-all arrogance our self-righteous leaders have decided to address the biggest and worst breach – at the HMRC – not by installing new technology and processes, but by appointing 37 data guardians to make sure this never happens again.

Will these agents really do as intended and "strengthen the management of the department's data assets" or do they represent just another pointless layer of bureaucracy which the taxpayer will no doubt be footing the bill for? Well, at the risk of sounding like he's just read too much Daily Mail … Sneak probably plumps for the latter.

March 3, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)