Sneak’s always had a soft spot for the little people. No, not leprechauns, children. But quite who the government’s latest plans to improve the little blighters’ education were dreamed up by, god only knows. It seems schools minister Jim Knight is bent on forcing all parents to provide broadband at home, in a vain attempt to close the “achievement gap” between richest and poorest sprogs.

Great idea Jim, but even if you can force IT vendors such as Microsoft, BT and Sky to chop their costs, the chances of said internet connection being used for educational purposes are slim to non-existent. Unless social networking is part of the National Curriculum now.