So, according to some new government statistics, nearly all the phones stolen in the UK last month were locked down by the network carrier within 48 hours. Yes, Sneak has been trawling through the latest figures from the Mobile Industry Crime Action Forum (MICAF) – well, there’s not much else to do on Sundays now, since Mrs Sneak decided to shack up with the plumber. But the message still doesn’t seem to be getting through – a reported 800,000 phones were stolen last year.

Sneak wonders whether Nokia, Motorola et al. could try to develop capabilities in their devices similar to Judge Dredd’s Lawgiver gun, which explodes when anyone other than the authorised user tries to operate it. The mean streets of our city centres would be littered with blood-stained Burberry caps and torn, smouldering hoodies. But at least our mobiles may be safe.