Sneak has never been a particularly brave or adventurous soul. The most death-defying stunt he ever pulled was walking through Elephant & Castle in the early hours of Sunday morning. Oh, and there was that time he dared to nod off during a Steve Ballmer keynote – that required several stitches and a proctologist to, um, rectify.

So it was with a certain sense of smug self-satisfaction that Sneak heard that intrepid adventurer Steve Fossett is still missing in action. The man has been trying to kill himself in various extravagant ways now for over a decade – whatever did Branson do to him in that balloon? – and now he's somewhere in the Nevada dessert after his balsa wood plane went down.

Well, fear not, for now they've called in the IT big guns – Google and Amazon. Good thinking chaps; if you want to do a quick, efficient search over an area, Google's probably your best bet. I mean, he might be on the 356th page, but he'll be there somewhere. No, joking aside, it's Google Earth that is being used … and as for Amazon's involvement; um, when they find him he might want to catch up on some light reading, perhaps?