Sneak is getting a bit fed up of carelessly throwing away the hundreds of bits of paper that come through his letter box going on and on and on about his carbon footprint – especially since he didn’t used to know what it meant.

Fortunately for the planet, man…Sneak woke up during one of IT Week's green seminars and discovered what it was all about. Before then he'd assumed that it had something to do with burglars, their trainers and fireplaces. Apparently, this is not the case.

Bursting with good green feelings Sneak had a look at the government's recently released carbon calculator, and was amused - and surprised - to see that he had come above the national average.

Given that Sneak lied outrageously, he wonders what the rest of the nation claims. Surely not everyone turns their appliances off at the wall? Every night?

Sneak certainly could not live without his illuminated tyre pyre/fridge combo.